


Wash Away the Pain

by Golden_Asp



Series: Asp's House of Kink 2019 [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Kinktober 2019, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Iron Man 1, Shower Sex, Skin Hunger, after effects of torture, this is less kinky and more very sweet, touch starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 05:04:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20942723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Golden_Asp/pseuds/Golden_Asp
Summary: Tony just wants to take a shower, but the flashbacks are horrible.  The feel of water near his face sends him into a panic.  Enter Agent Coulson.  Much to Tony's surprise, Coulson seems to be the one person who really understands what he's going through and offers to help in more ways than one.





	Wash Away the Pain

**Author's Note:**

> the one story I had pre written for kinktober and I couldn't even post it on the right day. Whatever. I really like this one. I really like Phil Coulson.
> 
> for shower sex and a little bit of cock worship, day five
> 
> not beta-ed

Tony stared at the shower, fingers clenching and unclenching against his bare thigh. His muscles trembled and his chest fucking hurt.

“I can’t do this,” he whispered, staring at the water falling from the showerhead. He turned on his heel and grabbed a washcloth, getting it wet and rubbing at his body. He knew he stank. He knew his skin was covered in grim and he swore he could still feel the sand grating against his skin.

There was a brisk knock at the door and he flinched, the washcloth hitting the floor with a wet splat. 

“What?” he snapped, hands shaking violently. Pepper was out of the country doing something for SI, Rhodey was off doing military things. No one should be here. No one should be bothering him.

The door opened and Tony’s shoulders slumped.

“Agent,” he said flatly, not bothering to cover his nakedness. Agent Coulson slipped into the bathroom, grey eyes unfathomable as he took Tony in.

“Stark,” he said, voice surprisingly soft. 

Tony let his knees fold and he found himself on the floor, head resting on his knees. He wrapped his arms around himself, the painful press of the arc reactor making his eyes water. 

Coulson knelt next to him, hand hovering over his shoulder. “May I touch you?”

“Why?” Tony asked. No one touched him. No matter how much he wanted the contact, no one touched him. Even Pepper and Rhodey seemed to think he was made of glass now, after everything.

“You look like you need a hug.”

Tony looked up at Coulson, brown eyes blinking in surprise. 

“I didn’t take you as a huggy type,” Tony muttered.

Coulson shrugged, still waiting for Tony to give him permission.

Tony wasn’t the type of man to give someone that kind of permission. As much as he wanted to open his mouth, he couldn’t. So he scooted closer to Coulson, his butt on the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

Coulson’s hand came to rest on his shoulder and Tony shuddered, biting back the half sob that tried to escape his throat.

“Come here,” Coulson said softly, gently tugging him close and folding his arms around Tony’s broad shoulders. Tony rested his head against Coulson’s shoulder, body shaking as he cried. He never made a sound, tears sliding silently down his face.

Coulson’s hands ran up and down Tony’s spine, warm, rough fingers kneading his skin.

“I wanted to take a shower,” Tony whispered, his beard scraping against Coulson’s neck. “I tried…but the water…” Tony shuddered, pressing himself closer to the agent. 

Coulson spread his hand across Tony’s lower back. “Would it help if I showered with you?”

Tony pulled back, blinking in surprise. “You trying to see me naked, Agent?”

“You’re already naked and in my arms, Stark,” Coulson pointed out. 

Tony looked down at his groin. “Oh yeah.”

He was silent for a few more minutes before letting out a deep breath. “Yeah, I think it might help.” His voice was so quiet Coulson almost couldn’t hear him.

Coulson nodded and stood up. Tony watched him, still curled up on the bathroom floor. The agent undid his tie and slipped his jacket off, draping them over an empty towel rack. His fingers deftly undid his shirt, revealing a grey undershirt that he quickly stripped. Tony was surprised at just how toned Coulson was. The agent apparently hid a rather nice body under those tailored suits.

Steam filled the bathroom. Tony had an unlimited supply of hot water and JARVIS made sure the shower was hot without asking. Tony wanted nothing to do with cold water anymore. He couldn’t. It had been so damn cold in that cave.

He shook himself out of his memories at the sound of Coulson’s pants hitting the tile floor. Tony glanced up at him, swallowing hard as Coulson helped him to his feet. Tony had to admit he was a good looking man and seemed larger out of the suit than he did in it. Tony saw a ragged scar on his side and recognized a bullet wound. There was a tattoo with an Army Special Forces insignia on his bicep.

“Can that get wet?” Coulson asked, nodding to the arc reactor. 

Tony looked down at it, at the soft blue glow and the mass of scars spiraling out from it. It was red and inflamed around the metal, tender and hot to the touch. “It won’t kill me.”

“Not what I was asking.”

Tony let out a long breath. “Yes, it can get wet. The casing is waterproof.”

“And if water gets between the metal and your skin?”

Tony gave him a half shrug. “It’s unpleasant but I’ll live.”

Coulson sighed but didn’t say anything else. He opened the frosted glass door to Tony’s overlarge shower and steam wafted through the room. Tony stared at the shower, heart skipping beats against the metal of the arc reactor. Coulson stepped in and turned his back to the hot stream, holding his hand out to Tony.

Tony took a deep breath and took his hand, Coulson’s long fingers wrapping around his gently. Tony’s breath came in shallow gasps as Coulson gently tugged him into the shower, hot water pooling around his feet. Coulson kept his body between Tony and the spray, holding his hand until some of the tension in Tony’s body slacked.

“Can you turn your back to me?” Coulson asked, his voice soft. Tony could barely hear him over the water and the pounding of his pulse in his head. It was a sign of immense trust for Tony to turn his back to Coulson and he wasn’t sure he wanted to do it at first. Finally, he turned around, a whine escaping his throat as he felt the spray hit his back. 

Coulson made sure to keep Tony’s head out of the spray. He could feel Tony’s body trembling under his hands as he took a wash cloth and soaped it up, gently rubbing at Tony’s back. He could see still healing scars on his back. While most of the shrapnel had gone through his chest, some had found its way into his back. 

“Doing okay?” Coulson asked, his lips close to Tony’s ear. Tony shuddered at the warm breath against his ear. He shrugged. He was tense and uncomfortable, the constant ache of his chest a reminder of everything that had happened to him. The slow, gently rub of the wash cloth over his body was soothing, though.

“Talk to me,” Tony gasped out.

Coulson started talking. He told Tony about going through basic training in the army, when he went through black ops and Special Forces training. He told Tony about his first jump out of an airplane and how he had screamed like a lunatic all the way down only to immediately go back up and do it all over again.

Tony clung to his words, Coulson’s steady voice anchoring him in the moment.

“Do you want me to wash your hair?” Coulson asked. Tony tensed. He knew he needed it, but the thought of water on his head sent his heart pounding.

“I…”

“Shh,” Coulson said. “How about we sit on the floor here and I use the wash cloth?”

Tony thought about it for a moment. “JARVIS, turn the water off.”

The water turned off and Tony let Coulson help him down. Tony was surprised to see the Coulson’s cock was half hard as he sat behind Tony, but neither one of them said anything. Tony’s cock was flaccid between his legs. He hadn’t been able to get an erection since Afghanistan. 

Coulson brought the wet wash cloth up to rest on Tony’s shoulder, his hands kneading at his back. “I got you,” Coulson whispered. He ran his wet fingers through Tony’s hair, nails dragging against his scalp. Tony couldn’t bite back the moan that escaped his lips and Coulson smiled, wetting his hands again and rubbing Tony’s head. He was exceedingly careful not to let water drip down Tony’s forehead and Tony’s eyes burned.

“How did you know?” he asked finally as Coulson worked at his hair.

Coulson stilled for a moment before he continued. “My last black ops mission went badly,” he whispered, resting his forehead on Tony’s shoulder. “I was held captive as POW for a month. They were not kind to me. It was after that that Nick contacted me. SHIELD had been watching me for a while and then recruited me.”

Tony turned his head, his lips against Coulson’s temple. “Sorry,” Tony whispered. Coulson reached around and took Tony’s hand, guiding it to a scar on his side. Tony’s fingers explored the scar, both men silent.

“Not your fault. What you went through and what I went through are not the same, but I understand more than most.”

Tony nodded, allowing himself to relax against Coulson’s firm body. Knowing that Coulson did know helped. Coulson’s hands rested on his hips and Tony could feel his half hard cock pressing against his back. He let his head fall against Coulson’s shoulder, his damp hair tickling Coulson’s skin.

“Can I ask something personal?” Tony asked.

“Go ahead.”

“Were…how long….shit,” Tony muttered. He rubbed at his face with one hand. “Were you able to get an erection…after?”

Coulson hummed against his skin. “It took a few months. I had to heal, and then when I tried to help myself, nothing would happen. I would stay soft and small and nothing worked.”

Tony let out a frustrated noise and closed his eyes. “Nothing works. I…it fucking hurts.”

“Your penis?”

“My chest. Hard to think of anything else,” Tony muttered. “What worked? How did you finally move past it?”

“The first few times I realized I needed help,” Coulson said. “Asked a Special Forces buddy to help. After a while, I managed to get it working on my own.”

Tony sighed. He wondered if Rhodey would agree to help him out. Rhodey was tragically straight, but he and Tony had fooled around in college. Tony always figured it was because Rhodey would rather Tony have sex with him than with strangers that wanted his money. 

“Do you want help?” Coulson asked. Tony went completely still in his arms, eyes wide.

“You…you would do that?” Tony asked, shock lacing his voice. He hadn’t really thought about the agent much, not in that way. Before Afghanistan, he wouldn’t have hesitated in jumping into bed with him. So he wasn’t classically beautiful, but Coulson was handsome, and Tony was lonely.

“It wouldn’t be a hardship,” Coulson whispered. “Maybe it can give you better associations with water and showers.”

Tony’s lips curled in a smile. “Maybe.” 

They sat on the shower floor in a companionable silence, the water on the floor cooling slowly. Finally Tony nodded.

“If you don’t mind helping…”

Tony just wanted to forget for a while and if it took Coulson to do it, fine. 

Coulson hummed, dragging his lips over Tony’s neck. “There’s a stool out there. Can we put it in here?”

Tony nodded, mourning the loss of Coulson’s heat when the man stood up to grab the stool. Coulson helped him up and had him sit on the stool as far away from the shower head as he could get. Coulson took a moment to take a closer look at Tony’s shower. He had multiple showerheads and they moved. He rearranged them and asked JARVIS to turn the shower on.

Tony tensed as the water hit the floor but slowly relaxed when he realized that Coulson had managed to rearrange the showerheads so that none hit him. It took him a moment to realize that the shower was set on mist, a light spray falling down around them. He watched as Coulson grabbed a towel and folded it up, gently nudging Tony’s knees apart and setting the folded towel between his feet.

Coulson dropped to his knees in front of Tony, the water hitting his back and ass. Tony watched him, breathing hard. His hands rested on his knees, knuckles white as he gripped them. Coulson placed his hands over Tony’s, gently working on getting him to relax his grip. Coulson’s cock was hardening and Tony let himself look.

He had to admit it was a nice cock. Not as long as Tony’s but thicker. Coulson was circumcised and Tony had a great view of his slit and the flared head of his cock. Coulson seemed completely unconcerned that Tony was staring at his dick; he just offered Tony a quiet smile and kissed his knee.

Tony’s breath caught at the feathery kiss. He watched Coulson slowly kiss his way up Tony’s thigh, tongue flicking out to run over scars, tangling briefly in Tony’s leg hair, lips gentle as he worked his way closer to Tony’s pelvis. 

Tony could feel a mist of water spraying over him, but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was the man kneeling between his legs. He still wasn’t hard, but his stomach was tight, anticipation building inside him. That swooping sensation he hadn’t felt in over a year made him feel like he was flying and he closed his eyes. He reached out a trembling hand, desperate to touch Coulson but unsure if he was allowed.

Coulson reached up and took Tony’s hand, placing it on his head. Tony’s fingers tightened in his short hair and Coulson smiled, nose nudging the wiry hair at the base of Tony’s cock.

Tony let out a strangled moan when Coulson’s lips touched his shaft. He didn’t kiss, he didn’t suck, he just ran his lips up and down his soft length, tongue flicking out to tease at his slit. Grey eyes watched Tony for adverse reactions and he was pleased to see the flush spreading across Tony’s face and down his neck. His lips curled in a smile and then he opened his mouth and took Tony’s cock into his mouth.

Tony let out a choked cry, nearly doubling over at the intense sensation rolling through him. Coulson took his entire length in his mouth, rolling his still soft cock in his mouth, stroking it with his tongue. One hand fondled Tony’s balls, cupping and stroking them as his head bobbed.

He pulled off, Tony’s spit slicked cock giving a tiny twitch. Coulson kissed his slit, tonguing it slowly. Their eyes met again and Tony whined, hips working slowly. His cock twitched again and Tony nearly sobbed when it started to fill.

Coulson pressed slow kisses along his slowly hardening length, their eyes still locked. “Look at you,” Coulson whispered. “So beautiful. You’re doing so good. I’ve got you.”

He wrapped one hand around Tony’s cock and started to stroke him, kissing his head and continuing his praise. Tony whined, one hand braced on Coulson’s shoulder, the other tangled in his short hair. It felt so good. Everything else fell away; the torture, the death, Obie’s betrayal, the constant pain and shortness of breath. It was gone. The only thing that mattered was Coulson’s lips on his cock, the praise falling from the man’s mouth. 

A light mist rained down from the shower, slowly soaking Tony’s hair and skin. He whined and trembled. He half wondered if it was all a dream. 

Coulson pressed soft kisses against his cock, never relenting on his stroking. He licked the tip, tasting Tony’s precome.

“Agent,” Tony whispered, half bent over.

“Let go, Tony,” Coulson said. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Tony cried out, back arching. Mist sprayed across his chest and tears rolled from his eyes. His cock twitched in Coulson’s mouth and then he was coming. Coulson swallowed him down, throat working as he drank everything Tony had to give. His free hand drifted between his legs, taking his own hard cock in hand. He started to jerk himself off, palming his head and cupping his balls.

It didn’t take long.

Tony whined as he watched Coulson stroke himself, his own cock giving a halfhearted twitch in the agent’s mouth as Coulson came. He watched Coulson’s seed spatter against the floor only to wash away down the drain.

He sagged against the wall behind him, slowly coming to realize that he was wet from head to toe and wasn’t completely losing his mind. He wasn’t sure he could walk. It wasn’t like it had been the most intense orgasm of his life. He’d been involved in plenty of orgies for that, but it had been so long and Coulson had been so gentle, so _understanding_ that Tony wanted to return the favor.

Coulson wiped the corner of his mouth on a washcloth and got to his feet. He helped Tony get up, hands running gently over his flushed body.

“How’re you feeling?” Coulson whispered, using the fact that Tony’s body was wet from the mist of the shower to scrub his skin clean.

“Tired,” Tony said honestly. “Like I can’t walk.”

Coulson smiled, lips brushing the back of Tony’s head. 

“Next time,” Tony mumbled, “next time I’m gonna suck you off so good.”

Coulson laughed quietly. “If you want.”

“I want. I like giving head.”

It had been a long time since he had done it. It was like the orgasm Coulson brought from his body woke up that part of him again. 

“Okay. But first, sleep.”

Tony tensed again. Sleep was nearly as hard as showering. Nightmares were a constant and he couldn’t get comfortable with the arc reactor in his chest.

Coulson’s arms slipped around him and hugged him tightly to his body. “I’ll stay with you if you want.”

Tony thought for a second and then nodded. “Yeah, please.”

Coulson turned off the shower and helped Tony out. Tony leaned against the wall, a towel secured around his waist. He watched Coulson dry himself off and pull a pair of boxers out from his go bag.

“Seriously?” Tony asked. “You have Captain America boxers?”

Coulson’s cheeks flushed. “Don’t hate on my boxers. They’re comfortable.”

Tony shook his head, a smile on his face. “Whatever you say, Agent.”

Coulson arched his eyebrow and helped Tony into a pair of silk briefs. 

“I’m only missing one of the Captain America trading cards,” Coulson said, leading him back to the bedroom. Tony let Coulson guide him, staring at the bed like it was a snake that was going to reach out and bite him.

“Which one?” Tony asked.

“Number two,” Coulson said. “The only one I was able to find was well outside my paygrade.”

Tony didn’t say anything as he sat on the edge of the bed. Coulson joined him. 

“I’m guessing you can’t sleep on your stomach with that.”

Tony shook his head, shoulders slumping. “Honestly, the only position I can get more than an hour of sleep in is sitting up. On my back or sides and the pressure builds up and it hurts.”

Coulson nodded and stood back up. “I’ll be right back.”

Tony watched him for a moment, confused. Coulson left the room.

“J?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Order that Captain America card, will you?”

“Of course, sir. Order placed.” Was it his imagination or did his AI sound pleased?

“What is he doing?”

“It seems he is grabbing every pillow in the house.”

“Huh. Okay.”

Coulson came back a minute later with his arms full of pillows and cushions. He propped them up against the headboard and pulled the blankets down.

“You’re cold pretty often because of it, right?”

Tony tilted his head. How was it that a man that hardly spent any time with him noticed that when Pepper and Rhodey only complained out how warm he had it in the house?

Tony coughed and swallowed. “Yeah. Hunk of metal in my chest. Hard to get warm.”

Coulson nodded and got into the bed, sitting up propped by the mound of pillows. He spread his legs and patted the mattress between them. “C’mere.”

Tony frowned but climbed into bed. Coulson grabbed his wrist and tugged him closer, bringing Tony’s back to his chest. Tony let out a quiet squeak that he would deny until the day he died but found himself quickly relaxing.

Coulson’s chest was warm, the skin contact felt wonderful. Coulson pulled blankets up around them, his arms loose around Tony’s waist.

“You’re really going to stay with me?” Tony asked.

“Yes,” Coulson said, voice firm.

Tony swallowed, glad his eyes were already closed and hoping Coulson didn’t notice the tears.

“Thanks.”

Coulson kissed the side of his neck. “Go to sleep, Stark.”

Tony found it increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open. It had been so long since he’d had a decent night’s sleep and Coulson’s steady heartbeat against his back was soothing. His strong arms around his waist gave him a sense of security and safety that he hadn’t felt in a very long time. He felt safe.

“You had your lips on my dick,” Tony muttered, head rolling onto Coulson’s shoulder. “I think you can call me Tony.”

He felt Coulson’s lips curl against his temple. “Only if you call me Phil.”

Tony blinked, forcing his eyes open and turning his head to stare at Coulson in surprise. “Your name is _Phil_?”

Coulson—Phil, apparently—let out a huff of laughter, his arms squeezing Tony in a gentle hug. 

“Yes, Tony. My name is Phil.”

Tony’s eyes slipped closed again, his breath wafting over Phil’s neck. “Hmm, m’kay.”

“Sleep.”

Tony’s breathing slowly evened out and JARVIS dimmed the lights. Phil’s thumb traced circles on Tony’s stomach and he let his head fall back against the pillows.

“Hey, Phil?” Tony’s voice came suddenly, sleepy and quiet.

“Yes, Tony?”

“Thanks.”

Phil smiled and kissed his neck. “You’re welcome.”

Tony’s lips curled in a smile and he slowly drifted to sleep, one hand on top of Phil’s on his stomach.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are love


End file.
